As Muggles Do
by embersandenvelopes
Summary: The Marauders are on a Mugglestudies field trip. THey have to live as muggles for a week and craziness ensues. RL SB, LE JP
1. Chapter 1

Sirius had come to the distinct assumption that first impressions were almost always incorrect. Sirius' first impression of the Muggle Studies class was that it was completely dull and would lead him down paths of boredom and all things associated with it. -How wrong he was though. Sure, there was no way he ever would have even taken the class if Remus and James hadn't signed up. They both did it for their own reasons though, Remus was genuinely curious, and James had to prove to Lily he wasn't ignorant somehow. Peter had basically joined because he, like Sirius didn't want to be in a class by himself. And Muggle Studies at least was always a place where they could plan pranks together when they got bored enough.

-Ok, and maybe the fact that Remus was in the class had a bigger role to play in why he had joined more than anything else. He loved James like a brother, and he could deal with being in a class with out him, and same went with Peter. -But Sirius didn't lie to himself, he definitely knew he felt something for the golden werewolf. It had never really been a secret from James. Sirius had never fully told him, but James guessed, and then Sirius just admitted to it. James had accepted it instantly, it wasn't very unheard of in the wizard world. It was tolerated more in the wizard world then muggle, but it still wasn't accepted everywhere that magic was involved.

Sirius had felt something for the lithe, golden haired boy for quite some while. Of course, he had never said anything about it. Why ruin a perfect friendship? James just called him daft when he used that excuse. But Sirius, the sex-god of Hogwarts, was far to scared of rejection to tell Moony, so he filled his time up with meaningless girls. All ditzy, all curvy, all giggly, -in short: Nothing Like Remus. It was part of Sirius' person code of conduct: do not fool around with any one who has any similar qualities to Remus. He felt it was safer this way, and generally he abided by it. Sirius thoughts were soon interrupted by the professors voice.

"Every one will have a partner for the week. You will not have a wand, as you could very easily be discovered that way. But you will have a "panic button", which is just this pretend muggle phone. We covered those at the beginning of term. Just dial any number and you will immediately be connected to the school." The old professor continued. "You must complete 6 days of work in a muggle profession. Most people will think your co op students, co op is a muggle program run in their schools, it is explained on page 238 -read it before you leave for the trip as background information. You will be gone seven days, the first day you are there you are not expected to work. We will all be staying at a hotel in London. When you are not working you must see at least 2 museums, visit 4 shops, and interact with muggles as much as you can."

"A whole week with Plotts as our only supervision! Were going to be let loose in Muggle London! Think of the Pubs, boys!" James whispered, interrupting the professor.

"Is that all you ever think about James? Pubs and planning pranks? You think you'd at least branch out to something that didn't start with a P. " Lily sneered.

"Perhaps the letter L would be better then P Lily?" Remus teased her. She flashed Remus joking a smile. They had been friends since second year. Sirius couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous when she grinned at Remus. That was HIS Moony she was smiling at.. Errr, no wait, that wasn't completely true. Or even at all true.

"Ahem, please save talking until after class Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans. I will now divide you into partners. -And since we are in a muggle studies class about to go on a muggle studies adventure, I will pick your names in a muggle fashion, -from this hat. Just like in a muggle class room!" Professor Plotts looked delighted with his idea.

Sirius was not as delighted. The Gryfindors were in this class with Slytherins, and a few Ravenclaws. -Why any Slytherin was part of muggle studies was beyond Sirius, but the look on their face about the trip they were about to embark on was priceless. But still, Sirius couldn't and wouldn't be partnered with some bloody git. That stupid muggle hat. It looked so shoddy with its little beak and faded colours. Sirius swore he would tear it to shreds if he was partnered with Snape or Malfoy.

"Ah, ok, Severus Snape" The professor unfolded a piece of paper "..and Peter Pettigrew!"

"Tough luck Pete, ol' boy." Sirius mumbled. Peter threw a terrified glance at the brooding Slytherin.

"Hannah Riley and Arthur Weasley. Then Rabastian Loferty and Fabian Prewett." The names droned on and on until Plotts pulled out James' name. "James Potter and Lily Evans."

Lily was in a dead faint. Her friends sniggered at her. Secretly Sirius thought she actually did enjoy the attention brought on by James and his antics and that most of her hate was now a show. She sent James a dirty look and made a "tut" noise with her mouth. James had a very different reaction then Lily. He smiled and kept giving Lily the thumbs up. Remus, seeing his friends pathetic attempt at impressing her, grabbed James thumb. He told him in the politest way that he looked like a bloody git who swallowed a toad whole when he did that and that sending Lily the thumbs up would really not impress her, -it only made him look rather constipated.

James stopped the thumbs up, but didn't lose the toad grin.

"Next we have Remus Lupin... and Sirius Black." Sirius felt relieve wash over him. He shot Remus a smile, which he returned. He wasn't partnered with a slimy Slytherin after all, but with Remus. Remus imitated James by giving Sirius the thumbs up and putting on a toad smile as well. Sirius laughed while James mocked hurt.

"Remus, I didn't look that stupid, did I? Oh shut it you two great whelps, I'll have more fun on this trip then all of you lot."

"Oh contraire mon aime, Sirius and I are quite capable of having more fun than you. In fact its quite probable, seeing as how Sirius and I are friends, whilst you and Lily are sworn enemies." Remus answered. Sirius loved when Remus spoke french. He forgot that Remus was from the south of France until he just started speaking words that no one could understand.

"Well Im not going to have any fun. Im partnered with that creepy Snape!" Peter whined.

"Its ok Wormtail, you'll only be with him during the time when your working the rest of the trip you can spend with us! Severus, Im sure will not want to go with the lot of us the rest of the trip." Remus smiled sympathetically.

"And if old Snivelly lays one greasy finger on you, you just give him the old one two!" James demonstrated, he punched the air and looked like he was doing some weird dance move. In the middle of this "dance" Lily and her friend Grace turned around to hand a sheet to the four boys. She shot James a look.

"Here Remus, were suppose to fill them out." Grace handed the papers over to Remus. "Too bad we weren't partners, I know so little about the muggle world, and neither does my partner Lucius Im sure. Want to go check out a museum with me while were there? So you can help me, I mean?" She placed her hand over his as he grabbed the papers.

"Uhm, sure Grace. I don't see why not. But Im not really all that skilled at muggle things though, especially muggle London, Im sure Lily would be more help." He smiled and gracefully removed his hands from hers.

"No, Id much prefer if you were to tour a museum with me." She smiled at him and turned her head around.

Sirius didn't like that little conversation at all. Remus was HIS partner. They would be going to a museum, and he would be damned if some little Grace with a pretty smile was coming along!Not that Remus was never an object of flirtation for girls, he was, but he hardly ever picked up on it. He was so naive, Sirius assumed it was part of his charm. Usually however, it was always Sirius who girls so obviously fawned over (they had long stopped flirting with James as he was a completely lost case to Lily). Sirius did not like this reverse role however.

"Moony mate! I told you Grace has the hots for you! You never listen." James chuckled.

"She's pretty mate, what's stopping you? You said you were bi, as in you like boys and girls, but in reality your just anti-sexual everything."

"Don't be a git James, she just wanted someone to help her around London. And Im not anti-sexual, Im just not interested and neither is she. She just wanted a tour-guide type person, she probably would have asked any one." Remus said.

"Not just any one Remus, you. You don't even know London very well and she still wanted you to take her around. -Not her best friend Lily who is_from_ London and is _muggle born_." Peter said.

"Oh Remus, so naive. But now, dear partner of mine, we have to fill in this sheet about possible jobs and all that. Now, rate how interested you are in food. No brainer, that is a ten. Chemistry? 2. Law Enforcement, us following rules, sounds very unlikely, 3." Sirius said.

"Thank you for allowing me to voice any input on our placement Padfoot. Its nice to know that your taking this seriously." Remus joked.

"I'll just put four and fives for the rest Moony. Its not like they even look at these. They just shove us in places I bet. Now, on to more important things, like lunch." Sirius handed the paper to the front of the room and got up from the desk. Remus followed suit, and then they turned to find Peter and Prongs.

"Lily, I don't think it's a very wise choice to put a 10 beside Medical, I don't handle blood well. You know that? And your still doing it? But I get really sick, sick to the point of vomiting. Suppose its true that I cant ask you out on a date if I keep spewing. It is hard to talk and vomit at the same time. Point taken." Remus and Sirius laughed as James sat and talked to Lily, they glanced over at Peter and saw no talking. Peter was filling out the sheet, and Severus was glaring at him.

"Those two are going to have one hell of a week."Remus said as he shoved Sirius out the door.

"Yes and ours will by far be the best. Just imagine all the things to do. Clubs, pubs, general havoc. Oh yes, this is the best experience of our short lives."

"Not to mention the museums. They've got all these great museums, science and art ones! Oh and-"

"Oh no those are so not going to be the highlight of this trip. In fact, I think we should put a time limit on the time you can spend in each one." Sirius said.

"Oh Monsieur Black, I will abide by no such time limit. I will expand your culture-less, brainless, tactless, artless, and all together pathetic existence while we are in London or my name isn't Remus Lupin."

"Oh Moony, its so funny when you say those things. Me? Moi? Artless? Please, I know great art when I see it. I stare into a masterpiece every time I look in a mirror."

"Your modesty astounds me."

"My ability to astonish is why you keep me around."

"Your quite wrong, we only keep you around because you refuse to take a hint and go. Your quite stubborn, we tried, but -alas- the effort was no longer worth it."

"No one is immune to my charm Moony. You could never send me packing. Who would comfort you when you are sad? Read you your bedtime stories, I know how you like the story of Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolfie the best! Who I ask you, who! Moony, you underestimate my greatness. And no body, NO BODY, truly understands the greatness of Sirius Black. I go unrecognized, a tragic hero, -a star among dull rocks."

"Now Sirius, once again your modesty is your best feature."

"That's not what you were telling me last night. Last night my best feature was-"

"Do not finish that sentence my dear boys while I am in the vicinity. It shall ruin my perfect mood. I do not want to think about why Moony was moaning so very much in his sleep last night, I just want to think about how much fun we are about to have when we embark on in our Muggle Studies trip." James interrupted my playful and joking banter with Remus -just as it was getting fun. Damn James and his timing.

"WAIT UP!"Peter cried from the background. He caught up to the boys while he was still huffing and puffing.

"I told you three cup cakes for breakfast everyday would only lead to trouble Pete," Sirius said as he studied the boys red blotched face. The boys continued to discuss Wormtail's plight of a partner like Snape, James' delight with Lily, and secretly Sirius was very excited to have Remus to himself for a week, little did he know that Remus was just as excited as he was -for the very same reason.


	2. The mysterious Mcdonalds

Disclaimer: TO those who may have noticed, I forgot to write this on the first chapter, so here it is. I own nothing.

Thanks so much to all who reviewed! I always try to reply back to those who give a signed review! Any ways, thanks again to every one! Hope you review again to tell me what you think!

Chapter Two:

The next week was uneventful for the Marauders. No pranks had been pulled. Although, the Marauders did find a stash of Firewhiskey in James' trunk, and while others went to Hogsmeade they got spectacularly drunk until they did a barbershop quartet version of 'God Save The Queen' in the middle of the common room as a welcome back present for their fellow students. But perhaps the most exciting factor of all was that tomorrow was the day that the fateful Muggle Studies Trip began. Remus sat in their last class of the day, Muggle Studies, as the teacher droned on about responsibility, and the importance of keeping their magic hidden and under control. Remus would have no problem with this aspect, but keeping James and Sirius in line would be something he was not looking forward to. He had very little time to debate the best method to do this as Professor Plotts was handing out papers with their assigned workplaces.

"Moony, I have an important question for you." Sirius said as he inspected the paper that Professor Plotts had just handed him.

"Yes Padfoot?"

"What is a McDonalds?"

"A what? Doesn't sound familar."

"So you don't know then? Well, I have no idea either. Isn't it from a song? A child song?"

"... Padfoot, do not start singing that song. We said no embarrassing ourselves by singing in public after that God Save the Queen stint for at least another year." Remus sighed.

"No no no, you promised that. I did nothing of the sort. My singing voice is quite fetching."

"I assure you, it is anything but. I suppose however, we should find out exactly what a Mcdonalds is. I'll ask Lily." Remus said.

"Yes that's a better idea, you posses much more Lily-tact then I do. She some how always ends up speaking to me in a very loud and angry manner when I approach her. Its rather unbecoming."

"Yes, well I will do my duty and go upon my quest to slay the mystery of this Mcdonalds beast. If I do not return, you, Prongs and Wormtail, can have my last bar of Honeydukes chocolate. Eat it, and remember me fondly. And know this Padfoot, that I died bravely, fighting for knowledge." Remus made a dramatic exit, while Padfoot yelled dramatically behind him:

"I'll always remember our late night meetings. How you yelled my name! How the moon bathed your skin. How your -"

"Its always got to be sexual with you Black! You cant never leave a line uncrossed!" Remus laughed.

"Well, you would know best!" Sirius replied. Remus however did not seem to hear him, as he was talking to Lily about the mysterious Mcdonalds place.

"Lily, what is Mcdonalds? Padfoot and I are working there for this trip. I know my mothers a muggle, but we live out in the country and don't associate with people too much, as you know why. (A/N im just pretending Lily knows about Remus' furry little problem in this fic) But I am completely baffled about what this place is." Remus gave her the most sincere and apologetic smile he could. She looked rather stressed about James. He was staring at her like a deer caught in headlights, and he seemed to be muttering incoherent words.

"Oh, of course." She said distractedly. "Mcdonalds is a restaurant. A very large and popular muggle one. It's a fast food chain. Very greasy, but good. Its part of a huge chain. They're famous for their Big Macs." She smiled at him.

"Oh thanks, what did you and James get?" Remus prodded James with his toe as unsuspiciously as possible in hopes to bring him back to coherency. He seemed to perk up when he heard his name.

"Oh Moony. Its great! Were going to be candy-STRIPPERS! Can you believe it! Stripping! As in no clothes. And candy is somehow involved! I cant wait! Isn't it great Evans?" Well, at least that explained why James zoned out so much, the thought of Lily in no clothes definitely sent his seldom-used brain cells into overdrive, thought Remus.

"No you dolt. Were candy-stripers. We are going to be working in a hospital, volunteering. With. Clothes. Without. Candy." Lily said looking very perturbed.

"No chance of changing that? Either the clothes or candy bit?" James said sounding hopeful.

"Absolutely not, Potter." Was the definitive answer from Lily.

"Oh well. A lad's gotta try. Shall we go then Moony? Off to the land of supper? Where there is mountains of dinner rolls, forests of broccoli, clouds of cauliflower.- " James leapt to Remus' side.

"I could think of nothing better. See you Lily. Thanks for your help. Oh, and have a good time at the hospital." Remus waved as James pulled his one arm as he dashed towards anything edible still yelling something about ponds of potatoes.

Dinner was uneventful, the marauders found out that Peter and Snape would be working with the police. Sirius shook his head and told Peter he had the worst luck. He got the worst partner and the worst job! The boys then turned in and started to get ready for the trip. Sirius managed to turn the whole dormitory upside down looking for his favourite pants while packing ("but you guys know that those pants accentuate my bum in all the right places, I must have them! Think of all the people that shall swoon over my perfect bottom I cannot deny them their right to swoon over my flawless person. It would be heartless!"). The boys went to bed uneventfully. James dreamt of Lily changing her mind about the whole candy-striper and stripper thing, Wormtail had a nightmare that Snape was actually a vampire, while Remus and Sirius, unknown to the other, dreamt of some person they never thought they could have.

"My dearest, most troublesome marauders!" James loud and cheerful voice echoed through the dormitory. "It is time to wake up, and embark upon a long awaited trip. Today is the day that we shall discover more about Muggles, and Lily will discover more about me. She will be putty in my hands by the end of these seven days. Now, all you lazy arses get out of bed! Honestly! Your missing my whole speech that I've been preparing for two days now about how Lily always misunderstands me, but how throughout the week she will learn to love me!"

"James, we hear that speech every day. Spare us, just this once." A tired voice crackled from behind Remus' bed curtains.

"Yes, Prongs. Spare us, or at least give us the condensed version that wont last through the entirety of breakfast. We beg you, our ears cannot stand the torture." Padfoot agreed.

"Wormtail will listen won't you? The only one of you lot to understand the gi-norm-osity of today, the day I win Lily."

"He's still asleep James. He possesses the amazing quality to sleep through anything. And gi-norm-osity is not a word. Do not insult my beloved English language so early in the morning."

"Pish posh. Gi-norm-osity is certainly a word. It's a compound word, it mixed together the words giant and enormous. Clearly your clever book-wormish self has never came across this word before? What do those books teach you then?" Padfoot sighed as he was getting out of bed. Stretching his arms in a very cat-esque way.

"See, Moony, Padfoot understands me. Therefore it must be a word. Its even in the Padfoot and Prongs Dictionary of All Things Word-like and Annoying to Moony." Prongs said.

"Ah, the beloved and genius dictionary created in third year." Padfoot said in a nostaligic tone. "How it irked Moony for months. He hates made up words."

"In a way you just admitted that it was made up. Therefore, I still stand correct. And, by the way, if I do ever happen to find that book of pure evil, I will stand by my promise to tear it to shreds, and burn it."

"I did not admit it was made up, its too early for your mind games Moony. Lets advance to the showers boys."

"First dibs on the shower with hot water." Prongs yelled. Only the first two people to have showers got hot water, and it was rather inconvenient to bring your wand into the shower with you to constantly heat the water, and so, there was always a scramble to see who could get the first two showers.

"Second dibs." Moony promptly replied.

"Damn it, there will be no hot water for me, and my hair always shines better with hot water. I guess I'll just have to share with you Moony. I know you like it any ways, who wouldn't? Think of it as an early birthday present from me to you."

"You said my birthday present was you in a nurse outfit Padfoot, and I much prefer that, so you will have to deal with a cold shower." Moony joked.

"Fine, but when the girls ask my why my hair lacks its usual luster I will point them in your direction and offer you no help as they kill you slowly." Padfoot said as he shook Wormtail awake as he lead the way to the showers. Sirius did however, enjoy the task of waking up Peter, because you never knew what would happen. Unfortunately, Peter must have been feeling rather violent today, and Padfoot promptly got a fist to the eye.

"Oi PETER! You git! That's my eye! A main feature to my beautiful face!"

"Huh? Whasgungon?" Wormtail muttered sleeply.

"You PUNCHED ME! I'll punch you back you filthy rat!" Moony promptly assessed the situation and grabbed Sirius and dragged him from the room effortlessly (he was the strongest of the four undoubtedly, one of the perks of being a werewolf he decided).

"Oi Pete, that was a good shot I never though you had it in you." Prongs clapped him on the back. Peter glowed with pride.

"Im always at my best when Im unaware of what Im doing." He said.

"Err, right Pete. Anyway, lets head to the showers. Oh and I can tell you all about my speech I prepared that Moony and Padfoot so adamantly refused to listen to."

"Its about Lily isn't it?"

"Yes, my goodman!" Peter's grin slightly faltered, but he followed James nonetheless.

"Moony, I already have a black eye! That little worm marred my face." Padfoot whined.

"Oh you are so dramatic. Here I'll fix it." Moony pointed his wand to his eye and said a rather simple healing charm.

"Oh Moony thank you! You're quite the nurse. Maybe its you who should wear the nurse outfit on your birthday. It clearly suits you more."

"And what would you wear then."

"Nothing."

"Well that would be rather reversed. You'd be wearing a birthday suit on my birthday, and I'd be a nurse. For the sake of birthday's everywhere, I shall have to say that no, I cannot accept this role reversal, lest birthdays be changed forever, as tempted as I am."

"Oh Moony, such an angel who always follows the rules. A perfect angel."

"Except in the sheets of course."

"Naturally, I would know best." How Sirius wished he did know best.

"Ha ha, really though, we should start getting ready. Were going to be late." Remus didn't have the heart to keep up the usual banter as lately he found it only to be fueling his crush, and Remus wanted more then anything to extinguish it and be normal friends again. But then again, Remus wondered if he and Padfoot had ever really been normal? He doubted it as he considered it in the shower with the rivets of water soothing his worries.

"Could all sixth year Muggle Study students please report to the Entrance Hall immediately." Was the magically amplified voice of Professor Plotts as it boomed through the entire school. Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter rose from their seats (only after Sirius and James stuffed their hands with toast and bacon saying "don't want to be peckish, got to keep up this physique -cant be a stick like Moony"). They saw a group of students all hovering together and whispering excitedly about the trip. Just about as soon as the four had reached the students however, there was a sharp call from Professor McGonagall.

"Boys, before you join your classmates, I would like to impress upon you the importance of this trip. Do not do anything stupid, and to clarify Black, that means anything I think is stupid, not anything you think is stupid. If you do step out of line, I will have no problem putting you all in detention for a week, and stripping you of any extracurricular activities- and yes James, that means quidditch, and yes I would do that to my own house even though we stand a good chance of winning the house cup this year. Please boys, behave yourselves. Remus, by the way, excellent transfiguration essay on the advantages of non-verbal transfiguration. Quite brilliant. Have fun on your trip."

"Oh Professor McGonagall, we will most certainly have fun. Have fun with out us, although how that is to be accomplished baffles me." Sirius waved to her as the Professor rolled her eyes and walked away. The boys continued to walk towards the students, and many girls ran towards Sirius asking him to sit beside them on the bus.

"Sorry girls, sorry. As I can't sit beside all of you at once, I shall deny myself the pleasure and sit with none of you. It is only fair you see. But talk to me later, and I'll see what I can do." Sirius eased away from the girls, and Remus only sighed. _Always such a ladies man_, he thought with only a tiny hint of jealousy.

"Excuse me, excuse me! Can every one hear me?" Professor Plotts waved his hands up and down enigmatically. "Ok boys and girls, we will soon be loading up the Knight Bus, and it will take us to the hotel we will all be staying at. You are expected to take muggle transportation to your work places, I will be giving you subway and bus maps and the times they leave at. However most placements are close enough to walk to. Remember that you are to see one museum, four shops, and interact with muggles without revealing your true identity. That is a very, very important thing to remember. Every one should have left their wands in their rooms. If they have forgotten please hand them to me and I will take care of them. I warn you, any one attempting to sneak a wand on the bus will be prevented by a magical barrier. ("damn" was muttered by James and Sirius) Ok then, well, here is the bus, please step on in an orderly fashion." Professor Plotts started an attendance checklist and let the students on the bus while James and Sirius handed over their wands very reluctantly.

"I hate buses, I hate the Knight Bus, I hate that Im bored, I hate this whole trip so far." Sirius Black was far from an happy camper (that is, if he knew what a happy camper was, but that is really besides the point). The Knight Bus was very fast, and made very abrupt turns and stops. The high speeds and swerves were doing nothing to help Sirius' mood. They had been on the bus for an hour and Sirius was unsure of how much more he could take.

"Im starting to agree with you Padfoot. This bus is starting to make my head hurt." Moony agreed while rubbing his temples.

"Here, I'll give you a head massage. I am an expert! And it will stop me from complaining about being bored." Sirius said. Any excuse to run his hands through Remus' hair was not one he was going to pass up.

"And not hearing Sirius complaining would do us all a favour Moony."

"Very well then. I always doing things for the better good." And within seconds, silky brown hair was in his fingers and Sirius was quite happy. This behavior, though completely normal for Sirius and Remus, made a few eyebrows raise, and quite a few girls huffy in their seat. Sirius saw that Grace looked distinctly confused, and he smirked. Any one close to the marauders knew they were just friends, but the behavior between the two, the bantering and the closeness mostly, always raised a few questions however.

Within another twenty minutes, the bus did a complete and harsh stop.

"Greensbury Motel, all off!" The conductor yelled with a voice devoid of any warmth and excited to see his rowdy passengers gone. The students all stood up, groggy and confused. They fumbled with their coats and searched for their bags. Soon they all tumbled off, almost literally, and were face to face with a very questionable hotel.

"Are you sure this is where we are staying?" Lily Evans said with a quizzical look.

"Of course Lily, this is a school trip, we are on an economy budget!" The professor chuckled. "I'll check us in then."

The hotel was indeed, very plain -at first glance. However when glanced at more thoroughly, it was very, very tacky and very unclean. The walls that at first appeared to be beige were really suppose to be white. The doors were painted a chipped forest green, and the gardens that surrounded the entire place were extremely wilted on the verge of turning brown. Perhaps the aspect that took the cake however, was the fact that the motel did not have numbers on the door, but had names. The name corresponded with the theme that your room was decorated in.

"Alright students, I have your room keys. To open the door, you just slide this card in and a little light will turn green indicating that you can open the door. Ok, first room: Arthur Weasly, Fabian and Gideon Prewett, and Zacharias Hinkle. You are in 'the enchanted forest' room. Hm, well I hope you enjoy nature boys. Here you are."

"Proffessor Plotts had best hope they like nature, judging by the look of this place they will probably find wild beasts in their rooms." James muttered.

" Next room goes to Alice Hardy, Lily Evans, Grace Andrews, and Erynn Dudley. Your room is called "Deepest, Darkest, Africa. Err, sounds... charming. Very well, here's the key." The girls looked very reluctant about their room, but took the key nonetheless.

"I bet they have a tent out back and pillows filled with sand." Sirius said. The room assignment went on with each room being more outrageous then the next. When it came to the Marauders, they were the very last ones.

"Well boys, the last room. And what is your theme? Oh, its called "Romeo and Juliet's Paradise." Well, that sounds the least threatening, and I doubt any of you know who Romeo and Juliet are, and so, I give you this key with very little guilt, but much humor. Off you go boys!" Professor Plotts handed Peter the key and turned in the opposite direction laughing.

"Oh dear god! I know who Romeo and Juliet are, and our room better not have the meaning I am thinking or there is no god above." Remus said as he looked rather frantic. The boys silently walked the dim hallway to their room all with a deep sense of foreboding. When they reached the final door, Sirius took a deep breath and opened it. He immediately started laughing.

"This room is ridiculous. There is no god apparently." Remus said.

"I should bring Lily here!" James screamed and punched the air.

"She'd probably hex you." Wormtail added.

Sirius said nothing as he clutched his ribs, still laughing.

The room was ridiculous as Remus had said. The theme had stemmed from Shakespeare's timeless play Romeo and Juliet. The room was adorned with red everything. Red pillows, red walls, red dressers, red love-seat couch, red everything. But perhaps the most prominent feature was the very large heart shape bed in the middle of the room.

"Oh my god. I love this room." Padfoot finally managed to say in between laughs. "Honestly, its possibly the biggest turn-off ever, but its so funny."

"I thought it was sort of a turn on." James said.

"Prongs, you need help. Professional help." Remus moved a step away from James jokingly.

"All I know, is that there is only one bed, and four boys. Professor Plotts does not expect us to all sleep together does he? Because that's not going to happen." Wormtail whined.

"No Wormtail, I expect this horrible couch turns into a bed. My mom used to have one of these in the basement till Moony chewed it up." Remus pulled of the cushions and pulled out a creaky old bed. He had been right.

"Oh big bad Moony can't stop himself from chewing up the furniture? Tisk tisk, no chasing rabbits for you next full moon." James joked.

"Well, dibs on the couch bed. It seems much less, how should I put this, horrendous, than the heart bed." Peter stared disgustedly at the bed.

"Well Pete, after saying this room was a turn on I do not want the teasing of sleeping in that heart bed, I would never hear the end of it. Im bunking with you." James said.

"Looks like its me and Moony and the love bed!" Sirius jumped on it gleefully.

"Oh good god, why have you abandoned me? I have done nothing to deserve such punishment!" Remus raised his hands to the ceiling and fell to his knees.

"Stop your praying, you know your not going to get into heaven any way if your friends with us." James said.

"True enough." Remus then got up easily and walked over to the bed. "Well, we have a while till dinner, so we may as well have fun." He crawled on the bed and started jumping with Padfoot. Peter and James did the same on theirs. They went on like this for quite a while, or at least until Remus got tired and flopped on the bed. During mid-flop he just so happened to see a curious button (a red one, heartshaped nonetheless). Remus was a very curious person, but not a stupid one. Any red button that he saw, even a heart one, he was not going to press. He had heard the terrible atrocities that had happened when such buttons were pushed.

Sirius however, had never learned this lesson. As he flopped right on top of Moony he too saw the button. He instantly went to press it. And there was a deep rumble and some high pitched creaking.

"Ah Padfoots going to get us killed! He pressed the red button!" Moony screamed into a pillow. (He was completely squashed as Sirius had jumped right ontop of him out of fear when the noises started).

"Padfoot! What have you done!" Peter said

"AHHHHH Im too young to dieeeee" Cried James. "I haven't got Lily to love me yet! We haven't had babies, I haven't become a quidditch star! I haven't met my grandchildren! All this youth and talent are going to be thrown away! OH damn you Padfoot and your button pushing! My poor grandchildren! HELLP!"

Then the noise stopped.

And a new one began. A sort of buzzing.

The bed was vibrating.

"Oh dear god. I really meant it when I said I loved this room. I agree with James now. This room is such a turn on. I'd hardly have to do any work now. Oh Moony you and I will have such fun in here tonight."

"Looks like your just about to start having some fun right now." James snickered.

"Hey if we were having fun right now I'd be the one on the top. Im the dominant wolf here, thank you very much." Remus muffled into the pillow again. James however was rather right. It was a compromising situation. Feeling Remus beneath him and the vibrations of the bed was too risky for Sirius to stay where he was. He promptly rolled off.

"No you wouldn't darling. No one tames Sirius Black!" He laughed.

"That's not what you said last night." Remus smiled.

"Your right, your dad was a great time. I've never had such a skilled lover." Sirius chuckled. The fact that both Remus and Sirius swung both ways was very known in the Marauders, although generally Sirius only liked one person, and that person was Remus. So really, you could say he was purely gay, but he always distracted himself with girls, seldom boys (that fell too close to being similar to Remus and he didn't like risking that). No one was really sure where Remus sat. He said he found both boys and girls attractive, but had dated only two girls and one boy. All three lasted only two weeks. In reality, Remus knew it was because he couldn't stop himself from always thinking of Sirius.

"SIRIUS!" Screamed Remus in disgust.

"That's what your dad yelled all night, but in a much different tone." Sirius winked suggestively.

"CROSSING THE LINE! STOP TALKING RIGHT NOW!"

"Enough of this! Im hungry! And this room gives me the wobbles. I think its time for dinner." Peter said.

"Come along lads, lets meet the girls and see if they want to get dinner with us. Its already 8: 30, and curfew is 9: 30. Its our only day of freedom here. Tomorrow we are working boys!" James said as he lead the troops out.

It turns out however, the girls had already left, and the boys ate a quiet dinner and then retreated to their love nest as they all affectionately called it now.


	3. Chapter 3

Hello! Im soo sorry about the delay! I went on a trip for two weeks, but I thought I had posted this before I left, Im very sorry! Thanks to all who reviewed! And please review again! Thanks so much. And sorry again about the delay.

Chapter Three

Aka: Day One

"RINGGGGGGGGG, RIINNGGGGGGGGGGGG"

"Wassgungon? Aggg, what's ringing?" Sirius flopped his hands around a bedside table to try to stop the loud ringing that had so rudely awoken him from his slumber.

"It's a telephone Padfoot. Pick it up. It will stop ringing." Remus mumbled, unmoving from beneath the covers. Sirius found something he thought would be a telephone and picked it up. Unfortunately, it happened to be a shoe that had been thrown around last night as part of a highly amusing game.

"RIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNG"

"MAKE IT STOPPPP Padfoot!" James yelled.

"I don't know what a telephone looks like!" Sirius started randomly picking everything up he could find. By this time he had gotten out of bed and was searching around the room.

"Its on the bedside table. Follow the sound you idiot!" Remus said.

"If your so smart, why didn't you get it." Sirius said.

"I like to watch you struggle." Remus replied. Sirius had by now found the phone, and picked it up. He then gave a questioning glance to the others.

"I don't know what you do with it mate." James said.

"Say hello!" Remus said.

"Hello? Clearly Im awake... Why ask such a stupid question? Im talking to you the telephone! That bloody incessant ringing machine... well good by then." Sirius hung up the telephone. "That was some bird at front desk wanting to make sure we were awake. She sounded rather grumpy. But boys! Rise and shine! The early bird catches the worm! Were off to work!" Sirius started running around and stealing the covers off the bed.

"You are an overly happy person in the morning. And I hate it!" James said as he tried to grasp the covers back.

"But if you go back to sleep Jamie-boy! You'll miss your big day with Lily!" Sirius scolded mockingly, wagging his finger in front of James.

"Lily!" was all James said as he literally bounded out of bed and ran straight into the shower.

"Moony. You wake up Peter today. I don't fancy another black eye!" Sirius said. "I really wanted to pee before he hogged the shower! That nancy!"

"Fine. I'll wake up Peter." Moony slowly walked over to Peter, and prodded him. "Oh Peter, you great lump! Wake up!" Peter didn't stir however. "Peeeeeeeeeeeeter!" The pokes were getting decidedly more violent, until at last a groggy Peter fell out of bed.

"Hunggguphm" was the only intelligent thing Peter said.

"Good morning to you too!" was Remus' cheerful reply.

The rest of the morning was a complete scramble. Peter decided that he was risking his life being Snape's partner on this trip, and he tried his hardest to convince Moony of this fact.

"Don't you see the resemblance to a vampire?"

"Peter, you run around with a werewolf once a month? How can you be scared of Snape?" Sirius said.

"Snape is a creepy creepy boy. Don't under estimate him. I may never be the same again after this trip." Peter said solemnly.

"But we will all remember our rat-friend with the most joy and fondness. Now hurry up, you have to go on a subway with Snape. It leaves in fifteen minutes!" Remus said.

"Yes Mother-Moony! Quick Peter you'd better hurry up before he starts laying eggs!" Sirius laughed.

"Ha-ha-ha, very funny. Now, we have to leave because we can walk, but I don't really know how long it will take. So we'd better leave now." Remus said.

"Ok Moony, just let me brush my hair!"

"And don't forget your teeth! I can smell your breath from here!"

"Enough with the mothering! Im a big boy!"

"You two are just like an old married couple." James laughed as he was leaving out the door. "Well I'm off. Wish me luck boys, today is the day that changes everything. What once black, will now be white, what was never mine, shall be mine! What seemed impossible, now is possible. Wha-"

"I can sense a monologue here. So Im going to push you out the door with the most love I can muster, and wish you good luck and yet pity poor Lily from afar. Have fun Jamie-boy."And with that Remus slammed the door in his face.

"You bastard! I wasn't even half done." Came the indignant reply from the other side of the door as James stomped off very dramatically. (Pity, he thought to himself as he stomped, this is one of the best dramatic exits I've ever done, and the only one to see it is the door.)

"Sirius, if you don't start walking in a straight line, I'll get out a dog leash and collar."

"Oh, I always knew you'd like it kinky!"

"..."

"Oh come on Moony. Looks like you woke up on the wrong side of the heart bed! Your not even a little fun."

"Im trying to find Mcdonalds Sirius, Im positive that we should have seen it by now."

"Oh we've passed it."

"What?"

"It was back there a while ago. Just on a corner."

"And you said NOTHING?"

"I didn't want to break the oh so uncomfortable silence we had been walking in."

"You. Are. An. Idiot."

"Im not the one who passed a huge flashy store, with a giant M on it, so really, who is the bigger idiot?"

"I prefer directionally-challenged thank you."

"Either way, it means the same thing. Your not as bright as Sirius Black, -few are, though. Don't let it ruin your self esteem."

"Shut up and walk."

"That's it Moony. Were switching the sides we sleep on tonight, you clearly woke up on the wrong side of the bed."

"No, this is the natural effect you, the love nest, and your ego have on me." Remus gave him a big grin.

After a while of walking, Sirius and Remus were face to face with the long-awaited Mcdonalds.

"Seems very busy."

"Why do they have such a big yellow M on everything?"

"Smells very good!"

"Well, lets go in then Moony!" Sirius and Remus pushed open the door. As soon as they opened it, it was pure confusion. There were people everywhere. Ordering, eating, standing around, children crying, and playing in the play center.

"Oh my gosh! Look how fun that looks! A big pool of little balls to play in. Im in heaven!" And with that Sirius grabbed Remus' hand and bolted towards the child's center. Before Remus had really registered what was going on, he felt himself pulled into a large pile of colourful balls. Surprisingly, they were rather comfortable, and very fun!

"Im swimming! Look Moony!" Sirius flapped his arms around and balls flew everywhere. "Lets have a race! Who can swim faster to the other side!" Despite himself, Remus found the attraction of the balls hard to resist, and he said:

"On your mark, get set- HEY YOU CHEATED!"Sirius had bounded away, and Remus flapped his arms trying to keep up. Sirius, however, was much farther ahead because of his early start, and had some how managed to figure out a way to swim through the balls with something that resembled elegance. He was just about to touch the other side and yell "VICTORY"-when he popped his head out of the millions of balls and instead screamed "AHHHHHH". Remus, heard the scream and instantly popped his head up too, and let out a very similar sound.

At the edge of the pool that held the balls was a very large man, with a very large mustache.

"Only children can play in the play center. Please get out, and leave the store." was the gruff reply.

"Err, actually, we aren't here to play in the balls." Remus started.

"Too bad though, because they're quite fun." Sirius interrupted.

"The play center is only for children. Not teenagers. Please leave." The man said again, getting more annoyed.

"Yes, we understand that. But we can't really leave, because were here to work. I'm Remus Lupin, and this is Sirius Black. Were co op students."

"Oh, you're the foreign exchange students?" The man looked like he wanted to be wrong very much.

"Yes." Was the reply, the man's shoulders dropped.

"You don't look foreign, but your names sound foreign enough. Well, come with me. And remember -the play center is for children. Not teenagers. Ruddy, hooligans." He said.

"Err, yes, we get the play center is for children." Remus said with an eyebrow slightly raised.

"I think he thinks your daft Moony." whispered Sirius.

"He definitely thinks were both daft Padfoot. What a good first impression." Whispered Remus. They followed the man to behind the counters and tills.

"Look at the funny outfits all these people are wearing Remus! How stupid do they look?" Sirius whispered again. Remus just laughed at Sirius, but Sirius had the distinct feeling that it wasn't because of the funny clothes, but something else.

"Well. You boys are going to need uniforms just like every body else." Oh, well that explains Remus' laugh. Sirius paled at the thought of having to wear something so hideous. The grubby man opened a locked cupboard at the back of the room, and pulled out what look like parachutes. "Here, you'll need to wear these before you get can work. Oh, and don't forget your hats!" Remus and Sirius took the clothes and were directed to a bathroom where they could change.

Sirius was less then impressed. As he changed into the clothes he couldn't help but feel that this week was going to be a lot less fun then he had anticipated. He opened the door to find a smirking Remus, already dressed, and looking rather ridiculous in the uniform. Sirius would have laughed, if he had not looked just as ridiculous.

"All that thought of what to wear at your first day of work, and look at what you end up wearing." Remus laughed, reveling in Sirius' agony.

"Moony, that hat makes you look fat!" was the sharp reply.

"Those pants make you arse look fat!" Remus laughed.

"Oh, that was low. You-"

"Are you ready to start you're new exciting life at Mcdonalds?" Came an eager, bubbly, and over enthusiastic interruption. A pretty girl with curly brown hair bounded toward the boys holding a yellow binder. "You're going to love it here." Both Remus and Sirius had to hold back the urge to vomit. "Lets go back to the crew room and get started! Im Jocelyn, by the way." She practically skipped away as she lead the boys to the back room. Remus and Sirius shot each other a very peculiar look, and then Sirius mocked flipped back his hair and skipped away just like Jocelyn. Remus had to bite his lip to keep from laughing.

"So boys, first things first. Who are you?" She asked as they sat down.

"I, am Sirius Black, and it's a pleasure to meet you." Sirius gave a big smile and a wink, and Jocelyn got a slight blush. Remus once again had to bite his lip to keep from laughing, he bit so hard, he tasted blood.

"And you are?" She grinned.

"Remus Lupin." Remus just smiled.

"So, great. Sirius and Remus, odd names, but oh well. So today, your going to be learning grill. You'll learn to make every burger we have, clean the grill, and much much more! Doesn't that sound fun!" She glanced at Remus looking very excited.

"Err, I guess so?" Was the reply.

"Great. So, safety first!" As Jocelyn kept talking about WHMIS and all other sorts of things pertaining to safety, Sirius noticed that her eyes continually flitted to Remus much more often then they needed to.

"Well then, that finishes that. So, let's take you to the back. Where all the magic happens."

"Ohhh magic?"Sirius said slightly confused.

"It's a saying Padfoot." Jocelyn looked utterly confused at this point. "Don't worry, you'll get used to Sirius eventually."

"Everybody grows to love me eventually. Its as inevitable as rain." Sirius said. Jocelyn just laughed and kept her eyes on Remus. Sirius was not amused. Girls don't like Remus. He liked Remus.

"So, then, lets start out with a Big Mac. Its our claim to fame as you very well know. So you grab these buns."

"Oh grabbing bottoms. I like this already." Sirius winked.

"Err, no this bread bun." Jocelyn laughed. "And you slide it in the toaster with the top bun going in the first slot, and the bottom bun going in the second." She then demonstrated it. "Then you wait for the bun to toast. Grab a Big Mac box," She then delicately placed the bun in the box. "Now here comes the hard part, you then put on two shots of Mac Sauce, two shots of onion, two shots of lettuce, two pickles, one slice of cheese and finally two slices of meat, taken with the red prongs. Thats it! Isn't it easy?" She beemed up at the boys. But frankly, it didn't seem all that easy. Jocelyn's hands had gone so fast they barely had time to see what they were doing, and there was no way to remember all that.

"Yep, easy as pie."Sirius said as if he had understood everything, when in reality it he understood even less the Remus.

"So next burger." Jocelyn went on for about an hour showing the boys how to make the different burgers, cook meat, and keep the place tidy. The boys however, retained none of the information, not from lack of trying though -at least on Remus' part. Sirius had given up after the Big Mac, but yet continued to act like some sort of Mcdonalds God understanding everything and make it almost impossible to ask a question before he was forcing Jocelyn onto the next thing by his enthusiastic nodding.

"Well so, now you know grill. Do your brains feel enlightened?" The boys, thinking it was a joke, and the funniest one Jocelyn had made all day, laughed their heads off at the fact that burgers could make them feel enlightened. The look Jocelyn gave them clearly however, stated it was not a joke.

"Err, so moving along then?" Remus said. "What's next?"

"A taste test?" Sirius said hopefully.

"No, something better. Taking orders and using tills!" The high pitched voice sounded very excited, very eager, and very focused on Remus. Sirius sulked. Remus shrugged.

"You know Padfoot, maybe putting ten besides food wasn't such a good idea. I blame you for this grease-pit, you never listen." Remus whispered.

"Here we go a till!" It was a big screen with hundreds of buttons. Sirius instantly loved that machine, and even Remus was fascinated by it. "So basically, all the burgers are here. You press EVM to make it a meal, which is fries and a drink for a lower price. Drinks are here." Jocelyn kept explaining in a very fast pace as if they already knew all this and she just had to really review it. Remus thought they maybe should have explained that neither of them had ever stepped foot in a Mcdonalds before today. But he was concentrating to hard on remembering it all, but it didn't seem possible. He gave into Sirius' game and started nodding like he understood.

The rest of the day Jocelyn kept going over things until it was about three. It was then that they were allowed to go back to the hotel. Jocelyn gave Remus an extra little wave as he left, told them that tommorrow they would be working by themselves, and wished them good luck. The two all but ran out the front door as soon as they could.

"There are several things I would like to say about our day today, but Im too greasy." Remus said.

"Jocelyn is overly happy, and I hate her guts already. I think I got grease in my very pores of my skin." Sirius agreed.

"First one to the hotel gets the shower first!" Remus yelled and bolted down the street.

"But Im greasier then you its not fair!" Sirius yelled as he ran.

The boys got back to the hotel in remarkably quick time. They learned the many wonders of grease that day, and were very eager to get it off their skin. The boys waited for James and Peter and discussed what they should do that night.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks to all who reviewed! I appreciate it so much, and I always take the time to reply if there is an address or a signed review. Thanks again.. And too any one who speaks french I did attempt to in this chapter and Im sorry that I butchered it. But, I tried my hardest? Doesn't that count for something? Sorry its sort of short! Review Plleeeeeeeease!

VERY IMPORTANT: Sorry about the PAGE BREAK thing as you will see in the chapter, i cant figure out why my formatting hasnt quite been working AT ALL (Sense the frustration) during this story, but, until i can fix it youll have to deal with PAGE BREAK as ugly and awful as it is. if any one can give me any ideas how to fix it? IT wont let me do like anything even a line of asterisks or exclamation marks or even big speaces. It drives me crazy,

So inshort PAGE BREAK means exactly that and im sorry for the uggllyyy format. Im working on it:P thanks..

Chapter Four

SMACK SMACK

"Moony, why is some one banging on our door?" Padfoot asked.

"There is only one way to find out. Open it." Remus placidly walked across the room, and opened the red door with the heart shaped handle.

"Oh dear god! It's a MONSTER!" Sirius grabbed the closest thing, to protect himself with: a lamp. "Quick Moony, run from the door. I'll fight it with my err muggle light thing. QUICK. Get back you beast! You can't eat us! Common Moony! Move it!" Sirius' voice urged.

Moony did not move one inch, he did however, open his mouth.

"Its Peter you dolt."

Sirius dropped the lamp with a thud and laughed.

"Peter what happened to you!"

"Snape."

"He did that?"

Peter was wearing a bright green wig, it looked like he had rolled in feathers, and there was a green substance smeared over him which no one could quite name. Or rather no body wanted to name.

"He said it was pay back. I told you Moony. I told you Snape would inflict harm upon me! Snape hates me! Look what he did!" Peter whimpered.

"It is the work of pure hatred." Sirius laughed. "If hatred could materialize, Im sure it would materialize into green gloop and feathers. Its so decidedly fierce and violent."

"Oh Pete, its ok. At least its out of his system. He won't get away with this. Don't worry." Moony reassured him.

"No slimy Slytherin can do this to you -a marauder. Don't worry Wormtail, Snape wont know what hit him. Wait till we get back to school." Sirius said.

"I meant more like we could inform Professor Plott." Moony sighed.

"No way, Peter has to save his dignity by fighting back. Not running to a professor like a little pansy. Right Peter?"

"Yeah, I guess" Peter sighed dejectedly. "Well Im going to take a shower before James sees me like this too." With that Peter headed into the shower.

"Poor Pete, he doesn't really stand a chance against Snape by himself. Poor guy cant even tie his shoes by himself." Sirius said.

"Pete can tie his shoes Sirius. He just gets nervous." Remus replied.

"Around everything that casts a shadow. But still I feel bad for him."

"For who?" James interrupted as he walked through the door. Pete had left it open.

"Oh lets just say, Snape wasn't exactly friendly to Pete on their first day." Sirius replied.

"Poor Guy. I know the feeling. Lily was anything but friendly today. She got so annoyed with me she tied me up with gauze and threatened to show me exactly what a catheter was and where it went. And that brings me to my next point. Moony what is a catheter?" James asked.

"Some things are better left unsaid. But don't ever, ever, make Lily follow through with her threat. You would not like it."

"I was hoping it was some weird kinky thing that meant she liked me." James sighed.

"Well it could be considered kinky, but I don't think she meant it in a nice way." Remus patted James on the shoulder while holding back a laugh.

"Oh well, the rest of the day was so great! We rode in an ambulance. It went so fast, and had flashy lights. Every one pulled over in their cars to let us by. It was great! We saved some guys life! He was having a heart attack but we saved him! How cool was that! It was incredible!"

"Sounds great Jim."

"It really was. Oh yeah, how was Mcdonalds place you were?"

"Mcdonalds was probably the cause of that mans heart attack. It's a grease pit. Short and simple." Remus said.

"It's the spawn of Satan. Everyone there has a permanent smile. This Jocelyn girl, she is a piece of work. I think she must be magic, and she must be giving herself pepper up and smiling charms every thirty seconds." Sirius said.

"She is a bit much." Remus agreed.

"Well, boys, sounds...errrr...fun."

"Don't sugarcoat it James.-"

"-Yeah, its already been coated in grease several times." Remus interupted.

"We are completely aware that it sucks. We just have to have double the fun at night to make up for it!" Sirius concluded.

"Starting with tonight. Im starving! And we should probably get one museum over with."James said.

"There's a great natural history museum near here!" Remus was very visibly excited at this prospect and tried to hide the glee from his voice as he said it -but failed.

"And clearly Moony picks the most boring one." Padfoot said.

"Ahh, but it is the closest. And if we cut back on traveling time, we'll have more time to do as we please." Remus defended.

"Its decided then. Were going to the Natural History Museum." Sirius said.

"Hurrah." James said without any enthusiasm. "Can we get dinner first though, Im starving."

"As long as it isn't Mcdonalds, or overly greasy." Remus said.

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"Welcome to the Natural History Museum. We promote the discovery, understanding, enjoyment, and responsible use of the natural world. Explore our world-class collections, fantastic exhibitions and cutting-edge research, or visit our landmark buildings." A very large woman said as the marauders went into the museum doors and handed them pamphlets. "We hope you enjoy your stay." She concluded with the most forced smile in the world.

"We will try." Sirius said very cheerfully back. She didn't even acknowledge his existence. "Lovely people they have here at your museum." Sirius said to Remus.

"It isn't my museum."

"LILY" James screamed.

"Oh good god." Sirius, Peter, and Remus said at the exact same time.

Sure enough, if there was ever anything that even reminded James of Lily within a 200 meter radius, he could pick it up instantly. This time, he struck gold, and had spotted Lily around a group of her friends, Grace Andrews included. Lily tensed up her shoulders and didn't move. But her eyes darted around rapidly, looking for the caller. She was obviously trying to ignore James, but get a sense of where he was so she could make a direct run in the opposite direction.

"Oi, Evans! Over here." James called again.

"You are the least subtle person in the world Jamie-boy." Sirius said.

Grace did a little wave and Lily all but dragged herself over to them after she realized it was inevitable.

"Hi Remus. You know, you did promise to go around a museum with me. How lucky we are to have met here. Now I'll just have to hold you to your promise." She giggled.

"Oh right, yeah. How convenient." was all Remus said in reply. Sirius was slightly irked at Grace. Remus had dragged them to this museum, and he'll be damned if he doesn't drag them through every exhibit. He then got a great idea. He'd help out himself, and James.

"We can all go together!" He said. "Like a big group." James was ecstatic, Lily paled at the thought, Grace's smile only faltered for a second, and Remus just stayed the same.

"Great idea Padfoot." Remus said.

"Yeah, lovely." Grace tried to sound enthusiastic.

The two girls who were with Grace and Lily, their roommates Alice and Erynn, nodded very happily, and Sirius beamed and said.

"Right then. What first?"

"Oh they have this fantastic dinosaur exhibit." Lily said.

"Yeah, I've been aching to see it, too." Remus concurred.

"Well, dried up fossils, here we come." Sirius said. Erynn and Alice giggled, quite obnioxously and batted their eyelashes.

This is going to be a long, long, evening, Sirius thought to himself.

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"Holy shit. Everybody, run for their lives!" Sirius blurted out, scared for his life for the second time that day. He turned around and futilely tried pushing his way through the crowds of people. Remus was holding him back.

"Pretty fantastic eh Padfoot? Not just some boring museum." Remus joked.

"Are they... alive?" Sirius asked timidly.

"Looks like it Pads. Lets run for it. Muggles are insane!"James blurted out.

Sirius and James had faces as white as snow.

Remus and Lily just laughed as all their companions were frozen in fear.

"They...aren't... real." Lily said through laughs. "It's a machine. They wont hurt you."

"So much for Gryfindor courage." Remus said.

"I said it once, I'll say it again. Muggles are insane. They made dinosaurs? How?" James asked. Lily and Remus explained it to the group.

The rest of the visit went much smoother, Sirius kept joking around with Remus, and as Sirius victoriously noted, Remus joked back with him, and looked much happier when with him then Grace. The end of the visit however, did not go as smoothly, as James and Sirius could not resist freaking the new visitors out. They ran out screaming for their lives, claiming the mechanical dinosaurs had gone funny and were eating people.

It would have been much more believable if they didn't say "mekanihal" instead of mechanical, so people could understand them. However, no body paid much attention, and they were free to eat dinner in relative peace. Or as much peace as you ever get with Sirius around.

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"RING RING!" went the telephone.

"Aha! You wont best me this time you dastardly machine! I know where you are!" And with that Sirius fumbled to the phone and picked it up. "Hello? Yes, Im awake. You know, this fellyphone machine is really quite neat, wouldn't you think? Hello? Yes, I already said Im awake." Sirius hung up the phone. "Moony, that fellyphone voice is really unpolite. It just keeps saying the same thing over and over again."

"It's a recording. It cant reply you idiot, they probably sent us the recorded wake up call when they realized what an dolt you were yesterday." Moony grumbled through sleep so it barely resembled words.

"How true. I didn't understand half of what was said there, but what I did understand, and that was the word "idiot", I will not take offense to because, you are the grumpiest person in the world in the morning, and I know you didn't mean it." Sirius concluded.

"Oh I meant it. I'll take that telephone and shove it up your-"

"Now Moony, you don't really want to finish that sentence, do you? Because I might just have to call you up on it." Sirius winked.

"8:01 and already Sirius is making sexual jokes. It's a new record." James sighed.

"Oh good your up James. Now you can wake up Peter!" Sirius chirped. "Moony has a promise to deliver. Although, no telephones."

"Ha bloody Ha. I think I'll take a shower now, although there is no point as we'll just get greasy in an hour any ways." Moony stomped off to the showers looking very irritable, and very tired for some one who just woke up.

"Alright Peter. Ready or not here I come!" Announced James as he started jumping on his bed and tossing pillows at Pete to wake him up. Sirius, unable to ever resist that sort of fun, jumped in to, and Wormtail woke up to a very violent start of his day.

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The walk to Mcdonalds was much more pleasant then the first one. Now that Remus knew where he was going he did not want to walk in silence, and Sirius and he thought of ways that Peter could get back Snape. Well really, Sirius thought of ways, and Remus knocked down the ones that were too violent, and made sure Snape would be ok.

"Oi, here we are Moony. Mcdonalds. Oh joy." Sirius said.

"Well, I wonder what were doing today."

"Only one way to find out." They pushed the doors open wide and marched to the back, both with the look of impending torture, and a hint of doom, on their faces. They passed several smiling faces as they went by.

"Look Moony, all these workers must have taken some sort of drug before they worked to make them look so happy. Such a shame, and rather rude, that they didn't invite us."Sirius said.

"Remus! Your on grill today! With me, and Mark!"Jocelyn pointed to a handsome young male, about the same age as Padfoot and Moony. "And Sirius, your on front counter. Hopefully you boys remember what I told you yesterday!"

"Clear as mud." Remus muttered as they walked to the back to get changed.

"Remus! Your on grill today! With me!" Mocked Sirius. "Just because Jocelyn likes sickly bookworms means that you get to play with food all day while I take orders. How corrupt." Sirius said.

"I cant help it that the pale, bookworm look is becoming really popular these days. Everybody must have their very own bookworm." Remus joked.

"I already had my very own bookworm. I had the rarest model-a werewolf one. So hard to find one these days. But, no good thing lasts, I got tired of him. He started getting interested in overly happy grease workers, needless to say he didn't satisfy me like he used to. Such a pity." Sirius sighed.

"It was a good life being a slave to your whims everyday. But, even you cant compare to a grease monkey. The whims of a grease monkey are far more lewd then your wildest dreams."

"I'll have you know that no one is more lewd than Sirius Black."

"BOYS! ARE YOU ALMOST READY?" Came Jocelyns voice.

"Now were late and its all your fault, Moony." Sirius said.

PAGE BREAK

Grill, Remus discovered, was not something that was nearly as hard as he had imagined it to be. That could be because all he was doing was putting meat on buns. But either way, it wasn't that bad. Jocelyn and Mark were very nice, and he was getting along well.

PAGE BREAK

Sirius on the other hand was inches away from taking the life of a middle-aged french speaking man.

"Im sorry, you want a Big Mac Meal, with a Coke, and then a McChicken and a .."

"Non, ceci n'est pas exact. Je veux un trio numero duex.-"

"No, I don't speak french!"

The man continued as if Sirius had not said anything."-avec une jus du pomme."

"Non speak francais."

The man was getting very red in the face and kept repeating the words over and over again. He started using wild hand signals and pointing at the sign.

Sirius was also visibly frustrated.

"I don't know what your saying." He repeated in a loud voice.

"JE VEUX FRITES! JE VEUX UN NUMERO DEUX!" Was his reply.

Needless to say, the entire store had stopped what they were doing to watch the loud voices.

Remus had been watching from grill with a certain amount of amusement, but when he thought he saw a spark (literally), he thought he stop it before Sirius lost control of his magic (because Remus had spent several hours explaining exactly how an everything had gone entirely green one day in muggle pub they were visiting, and did not want to do such a thing again.)

"Oui, oui, monsieur. Je suis desole pour le confusion. Comment peux-je aide toi?" Remus calmly took the order, and every one started going about their business again. Remus gave Sirius a smug look, and Sirius swiftly and subtlety kicked him in the shin.

"Thats for taking so damn long when I saw you watching for five minutes before you came to help." Sirius said.

"I just love seeing you squirm." Remus said rubbing his shin.

"In more ways than one. Now Moony, if you'll please vacate my comput-a-t-or or tilly, or my big mass of buttons that I take orders on, what ever it is, I have things to do."

"Quite right, you have orders to take, and I have burgers to make!"

"Ah, poetry. Straight to my heart."

"Heres more then, you're a git, and my shin really hurts."

"That didn't rhyme."

"Oh well."

And with that Moony went back to grill, and Sirius went back to hating every person that ordered anything over two dollars, and thinking of exactly why Remus was laughing so hard that Sirius could hear him every where he went. Exactly what was so funny back there? Why couldn't that damn grill team just stop flirting and make the goddamn burgers. Sirius quickly decided that Mcdonalds was hell, and every one in it was a spawn of hell. Moony was flirting with some one other then him, and he was taking orders for the stupidest people in the world.

Sadly, his day got progressively worse. Added to the flirting, many people complained that he had got their orders wrong, and he had to fix it. Then he spilled pop in the ice container and had to throw out all the ice and then get new ice. And then, to top in all off, he burned his hand in the fry vat.

Sirius hated Mcdonalds more than anything in the world.


	5. Chapter 5

SORRY this took so long to update, the school year was INSANE, but now that Im done, this should be updated more regularly. So please review and tell me what you think… im going to start getting back into the habit of replying to each one again! So Review!

Thanks to every one who has been reading this!

The walk home from Mcdonalds was very slow, and felt like a type of horrible sliver that you get on your big toe that plunges deeper into your skin with each step, causing slight pain and much discomfort. The reason for this was, alas, Sirius and his terrible mood, for what Remus assumed was due to dealing with a till all day. However, Sirius knew it was in part the till but also partly listening to Remus have a good time with people that weren't him.

"Walking to and from Mcdonalds in this kind of silence is becoming quite a tradition between the two of us." Remus said mentally chiding himself for great deal of uncertainty in his voice.

"Yeah I guess so." Was Sirius' short and final reply.

After a long pause Remus meekly muttered, "well, who am I to break tradition I suppose." Sirius shot him a glare and kept his mouth shut.

Sirius was completely aware of his bad mood and how it definitely didn't help the walk pass quickly or enjoyably, quite the opposite rather. But, he was not inclined in any way to try to raise his spirits, or any one else's for that matter. His terrible mindset was derived from a mere 15 second conversation, and how desperately he wished its implications had lasted as long. Yet, it had multiplied, doubled, and quadrupled itself since he had kept replaying it in his head.

Flashback:

Sirius was walking to the break room, even though technically he wasn't on break. But he needed to get away from that major mass of buttons and the customers. Sirius, a boy who had never actually worked a day in his life, was having a little trouble adjusting –but good lord, no one was to ever figure that out, hence he was hiding for a while in the back room.

Just as he was approaching the room, he realized people were in it, and he distinctly recognized a certain voice full of laughter. It was Remus, and upon a few more seconds of eavesdropping, he realized it was Mark too –grill boy.

"Remus, really for some one who has just started your really doing well."

"Thanks, I mean, it may not require the most brain power, or intelligence, but it does require a certain skill."

"Well then I suppose you've got it. But listen, I know your not here for a long time, but what do you say about tomorrow after work I'll show you a part of London that's not filled with grease, and we can see where it goes from there? I mean, I hope I haven't got the wrong impression of you or anything, because if I did I'm terribly sorry, but I thought I detected something, you know."

"Err… well…Good to know I'm giving off vibes, the right vibes, I mean, you didn't get the wrong impression… well I like girls, but I like boys too.. just so you know. Err.. I guess we could. I mean, sure, great. See you later then. I'll try not to be less stutter, you just took me by surprise. You know, wrong vibes, all that. Oh look, my breaks done. So right, tomorrow. See you then." Remus stumbled and made his way to the door. If Sirius, not wanting to be caught, abruptly turned around and ran back up to the front counter. He was fuming, had he not felt a certain way about Moony, he knew he would have been in hysterics listening to the most eloquent marauder jumble up his words and become incoherent. –But he did feel a certain way, and now he felt jealous. He knew it was childish, and he couldn't stand it. Remus was his friend, his partner for this trip, and here he was pairing off with some grease monkey. Sirius tried reasoning with himself, reminding himself that he didn't own Remus, and Remus didn't even know Sirius had these feelings (he trampled the little voice that said he would be disgusted if he found out his friend had feelings for him since he was already on edge and wasn't exactly fond of falling right off). However, no amount of reasoning could quell him, he never was good at self control, and so his mood sunk deeper and deeper into a pit of frustration.

PAGE BREAK

"Well, here we are back at the ol' love nest." Remus chuckled as he put the key in the door. It was the first words that had been spoken since Remus had first attempted conversation.

"I'm showering now." Sirius said and ran into the bathroom.

Remus stood quite at a loss at the side of the bed. His arguments of how he was the one working in more direct contact with the food, and therefore undoubtedly greasier, rustled inside his brain but didn't quite make it to his mouth instead her merely mumbled:

"…Alright then" as the door had closed. Remus felt completely baffled as to why such an abrupt mood change had taken place in Sirius. He was well aware the boy was easily swayed, but Remus could not think of why this had occurred since it was far too bad mood to be caused from work. He was interrupted as Peter came in.

"Hey Pete, how was your day?" Remus asked.

"Fantastic Remus! You would not believe what happened today! There was a bank robbery, and they had to call in all units, which meant we had to go to because we can't be left alone, liability or something like that. But, most of the time we are stuck at the station learning about dead boring stuff. And today, we got to see this whole thing go down! I saw this guy with a mask and a gun or what ever those things are called, and they handcuffed him and Snape and I got to ride in the same cop car as the bad guy, except he was behind bars 'course. It was great. I was too scared to speak most of the time, but so was Snape." Peter's mouth exploded at a speed of about a hundred words a minute.

"Wow Pete! Sounds spectacular!" James shocked every body as he was all of the sudden right behind Remus. Remus gave an involuntary jump. "Oops, I seem to have ruffled little Moony's feathers. Sorry mate. Any ways Pete, your day was a lot better then mine. What 'bout you Rem?"  
"Same, dreadful."

"Really Remus? It seemed like you had a pretty good day to me." Sirius said every word dripping with only slightly noticeable disdain, as he was suddenly out of the shower. He smiled at him, all charm and all ease, the mood apparently masked beneath it. Remus was starting to wonder how James and Sirius were able to sneak up so quietly on people when most of the time they were louder then most thunder storms.

Remus did not reply to Sirius comment, but gave him a quizzical look.

"Well boys. Since we all seem to have bad days, although Remus questionably so, I say we hit the town and bollocks to the curfew! Let's go to a pub, and get rip roaring drunk. _I'm dying to see a side of London that isn't greasy_." Sirius said and shot a direct look at Remus as he said the last line as if daring him. Remus was confused, had Sirius heard what Mark had asked him? Remus was fairly certain that no one was around. But because of Sirius' mood and choice of words, Remus was starting to think he was mistaken. "All in favour say AYE!" Sirius continued.

"Aye aye my good captain!" James replied with a great deal of enthusiasm.

"Aye." Said Peter, eager to join in on the fun.

"Well then majority rules Moony, don't even try to protest." James said.

"We leave in an hour then!" Sirius said as he clapped James on the back.

PAGE BREAK

Remus was beginning to feel very stifled. The music was loud, he was not nearly as drunk as his companions, who were all dancing wildly, whilst he sat along the side lines. As he sat he contemplated. He was trying to find a solution as to make Sirius' mood disappear. But for it to disappear he had to know the cause, which he was still uncertain as to why Mark asking him out would cause Sirius to be mad, and then he would have to make Sirius admit that he was upset, because Sirius was doing a very good show of covering it up. He was laughing loudly making jokes and being the life of the party. If Remus hadn't been on the walk home with Sirius he never would have guessed he was mad, but because he had, and because Sirius had spoken to Remus in a very sarcastic way ever since -he knew he was hiding it. And good lord Sirius was good at hiding things. Remus supposed he had years of practice being in a family like his.

"Moony, why must you brood now? Why can't you drink more and have fun with the rest of us" James said slinging his arm around him. Remus could smell the rum on James.

"Asking why Remus broods is like asking why the sun shines… it is what he is suppose to do… just like how the sun shines." Peter said.

"Very insightful Pete. It's like a revelation." Sirius said sarcastically.

"Well, brood all you like, I'm off to dance, because I am made to dance." James said. Remus however, distinctly begged to differ as James was at the very least, a very untalented dancer. "Let's go boys." Peter jumped to follow James, while Sirius stayed behind.

Remus drew a breath, mentally prepared himself to be teased about being a girl, as he was preparing to talk to Sirius about his bad mood. He could already hear Sirius saying, stop being such a nancy and stop talking about feelings already you woman! But, Remus was confident he was not a woman, and so he pushed the topic.

"Look Sirius, I think you may have over heard Mark and I today-"

"Damn right! You were speaking loud enough for the whole world to hear!"

"I sincerely doubt that."

"Sirius Black does not eavesdrop. Stop these accusations immediately! I say, I was not spying." Sirius suddenly became very defensive, and smelling even stronger of rum than James did.

"Right no, not the point. Well, all I wanted to say, was that I was going to tell you, just the walk home was so cheerful I couldn't dampen the mood." Remus said.

"Excuses, excuses! The walk home was awful, and very silent, meaning a distinct lack of words coming from unbelievably, me and more believably you! I always talk, its part of my charm, so it was YOUR turn, and you should have filled it up with words. Specifically words about you and Mark and a date!"

"Well, it didn't seem like exactly the right time, and-"

"But to ditch the Marauders for a boy, its worse then a girl, because there is nothing that Mark has that we don't anatomically speaking, and so its worse. You are a traitor to your own kind. So very un-Moony like of you. Highly disappointed."

"Of course there are things that Mark has that you don't, and vise versa. For one I'm guessing he doesn't have nearly as good of a alcohol tolerance, Christ Sirius, did you drink the bar?"  
"Yet again, avoiding the subject Remus."

"Ok fine, the date with Mark doesn't mean anything, but for Christ's sake I'm a teenage boy and contrary to popular belief, I am not anti-sexual everything. I don't even particularly like Mark so don't worry."

"So your just using him! That's terrible, and nothing like your usual self! Where has the old Moony gone. Bring him back this instant! I do not like this new Moony!" Sirius said trying to cover his words with humor.  
"I am not using him! We haven't even done anything excuse me. And LOOK who is calling the kettle black. You get a new girl every week and fuck her and then chuck her!"  
"I have reasons for that!" Sirius yelled.

"And what is that exactly? Screwing girls helps the pain of being disowned. I don't believe it."

"Stop putting words in my mouth. That's it, we're done this conversation." All the slight and contrived humor he had started the conversation with had vanished and the last sentence was devoid of any warmth. Sirius turned to find James with one last look at Remus. Remus knew he had gone to far when he had brought up being disowned, but although not drunk, the alcohol made him slightly less himself. Remus felt terrible.

"Wait, Sirius!"  
But he was gone. And it was for the best, Remus really had nothing left to say. He couldn't explain that yes, Sirius was right. Remus was planning on using Mark, but he figured Mark knew he was only here for less then a week so it was even. He just wanted to know if he could feel something for somebody else other than Sirius because clearly, his crush on Sirius (he mentally shuddered as he said it) was starting to kill their friendship.


End file.
